A is for Adam, who was not gay.
B is for Bible, which shows me the way.
C is for Creation, which God hath wrought.
D is for Demons, against whom I have fought.
E is for Evolution, a damnable lie.
F is for Fornication, an act I don’t deny.
G is for God, who rules high above.
H is for Heaven, a place I would love.
I is for Infidelity, a sin I abhor.
J is for Jesus, the man I adore.
K is for Strikeout, just 99 times.
L is for Lifestyle, some of which are crimes.
M is for Morals, in which I believe.
N is for Nature, from God we receive.
O is for Orangutans, not related to Man.
P is for Piety, a fine trait for Woman.
Q is for Quiet, when I am a parishioner.
R is for Rock, who should be Commissioner.
S is for Sauropods, whose fossils are forged.
T is for Temptation, my life’s greatest scourge.
U is for Umpire, good for head-butting.
V is for Victory, which will get me a-strutting.
W is for Wright, an architect I admire.
X is for Xanax, without which I perspire.
Y is for Yard, out of which I hit frequently.
Z is for Zealot, a name you could call me.
Inspired by this interview posted in the Chicago Sun-Times.