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Home » September 2011 Game CommentsSeptember 2011 » Niemann Marked Us

Niemann Marked Us

I guess Norman Chad, Lon McEachern, and Ali Nejad wrapped up all the plumb poker commentator jobs so Fox audiences were stuck with Matt Vasgersian and Tim McCarver for this game.

Vasgersian is the most generic sport commentator on the planet. When broadcast companies want to start manufacturing play by play announcers like they do Japanese pop singers they can use Vasgersian as a template. Good-looking but not devastatingly so, a mid-range voice neither too dull nor too excitable, and pedestrian, predictable ways of describing the game. Vasgersian is Wonder white bread to Vin Scully’s baguette.

McCarver was his usual befuddled self. He must wait for fly ball plays to right field so he can bring up Lou Piniella’s play in right field on October 2, 1978. Any home run that soars towards the left field wall makes McCarver shiver in anticipation so that he can invoke the name of Bucky Dent.

With 2004 and 2007 under their belts the Red Sox and their fans are not so easily frightened by tales of failures past. McCarver summoning memories of the Boston Massacre to dishearten Boston fans is like parents trying to scare their tweener-age kids monsters under the bed. Little do parents know that their children have bittorrented all the Saw movies.

The real, current fear takes the shape of Elvis Costello hipster spectacles. The mind behind those glasses manages a team of sub-30 year-old stars that spit out talent like Carl Crawford only to replace him with Desmond Jennings. Jeff Niemann seems in line to replace Matt Garza.

Game 151: September 17, 2011
WinTampa Bay Rays
W: Jeff Niemann (11-7)
H: Matt Moore (1)
S: Joel Peralta (4)
2B: Desmond Jennings (9)
HR: Ben Zobrist (16)
Boston Red Sox
L: Jon Lester (15-8)
2B: Mike Aviles (15)

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