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Home » May 2006 Game CommentsMay 2006 » Halve


Game 28: May 4, 2006
Blue Jays (14-13), 4
Red Sox (16-12), 7
L: Josh Towers (0-6)
W: Matt Clement (3-2)
S: Jonathan Papelbon (11)

This game featured three members of the Top Eleven Active Baseball Players Without Necks, so it had to be good.

  1. Bartolo Colon
  2. B.J. Ryan
  3. Brendan Donnelly
  4. Jason Giambi
  5. Adam Dunn
  6. C.C. Sabathia
  7. Wily Mo Peña
  8. Jeromy Burnitz
  9. Bob Wickman
  10. Ronnie Belliard
  11. Troy Glaus

Note that two of the Cleveland players, Sabathia and Belliard, have taken to offset their anatomical disadvantage by tilting their caps to the side. You’ll soon see this season’s jaunty fashion statement on all of these thickly-appendaged athletes, as the coordinating silk scarf approach with team logo approach didn’t quite pass muster, even though it a convenient method to daub away tobacco juice.

The Red Sox starting nine played a joke on one of their own. Manny Ramirez trotted out to his habitual position in shallow left--all by his lonesome. He turned back toward home plate to find himself companionless on the field. Taking the prank in stride, he smiled and did his patented double point. Boston’s looseness boded well for the game; perhaps it would rub off on the somewhat anxious Matt Clement, who always seems wound up a bit too tight on the mound.

Facing the AL East’s resident OBP and slugging percentage-improver Josh Towers wouldn’t hurt, either. The Blue Jay pitcher did get a quick out in the first inning by inducing Kevin Youkilis to ground out, but that would be only easy out. Mark Loretta doubled down the third base line, his hit jangling into the left field corner. Towers then intentionally walked David Ortiz to get to Ramirez, who walked on five pitches to crowded the bases.

Trot Nixon couldn’t get the ball out of the infield, but his grounder still scored Loretta. With two outs, the Red Sox bludgeoned Towers for two consecutive doubles (Jason Varitek and Mike Lowell) and a single (Peña), putting five runs on the board for a lead that would not be surmounted.

Did Bud Selig really bring up cocaine abuse during his interview with Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy? I thought I wasn’t imaging that. Nor was I fabricating Don and Jerry’s raillery about blow during the fourth. I was severely disappointed the musical montage wasn’t “White Lines” by Grandmaster Flash.

Often I fear more for the integrity of things like walls and equipment rather than the players themselves. Varitek backhanded Lyle Overbay’s pop-up in foul territory with equipment nearby in the fourth inning. I know the catcher lost the battle with the fungo circle in the past, but I’m sure he’s primed to take his vengeance out on some donuts. Peña had to pursue another Overbay offering into the triangle. The bullpen wall got the better of lesser mortals like Torii Hunter; I can picture the replacement center fielder incidentally brushing against the concrete and leaving gaping holes in his wake.

I think the Red Sox bullpen loves to give hitters their first homers of the season. Rudy Seanez did so for Carl Crawford on April 30th and Julian Tavarez did the same for Eric Hinske in the ninth inning. Combined with Glaus’s two-run homer into the far Monster seats off a Seanez pitch in the seventh inning, the Blue Jays made something of a game of it late. That pair does like to make things interesting.

The crowded chanted for Jonathan Papelbon, who got the ninth inning’s two final outs with a runner on first. He wasn’t completely perfect; he gave up a single to Frank Catalanotto. But which Red Sox pitcher doesn’t give up base hits to Catalanotto?

Pap-el-bon! Pap-el-bon! Pap-el-bon!

Note to Dave’s Diegesis fans: I got unexpected tickets to tonight’s game, so the Friday feature will be delayed until tomorrow.


Damn. I really miss having cable. Now I need to find a bootleg web clip of Remy discussing cocaine.

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