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Home » July 2005 Game CommentsJuly 2005 » Truculence


Game 81: July 4, 2005
Red Sox (46-35), 5
Rangers (43-38), 6
BS: Juan Dominguez (1)
W: Joaquin Benoit (1-0)
H: Mike Timlin (15)
H: Alan Embree (4)
BS, L: Keith Foulke (4, 5-5)

After the bottom of the 1st inning, the feeling of dread hanging over the rest of the game was palpable. The Rangers loaded the bases with no out. It wouldn’t be the last time either; the opposition loaded the bases in the 2nd, 4th, and the 9th. The last occasion proved lethal.

Ramirez had another Manny moment when he tried for second base in the 2nd inning following a Michael Young error. There’s hustling, and then there’s being hustled; I really wish Manny would figure out the difference when he’s on the basepaths.

The third inning seemed to rekindle the Red Sox’s fire. Mueller led off with a single to right. Ricardo Rodriguez handily erased the next two batters, one of which was a Damon ground out that removed Mueller from scoring position. Rodriguez then yielded 2 consecutive walks to juice the bases and facing the unsavory prospect of having to pitch to Manny. Rodriguez walked in a run, and then uncorked a wild pitch to score Renteria with Nixon at the plate. Here’s the list of other ways to score a runner without the ball contacting the bat that Andrew and I came up with: balk, passed ball, steal, error, hit by pitch with bases loaded. I guess you could add dropped third strike but the guy at third would have to have a huge lead and the catcher would have to be a complete moron. In fact, it would probably have to be a dropped third strike plus throwing error to work. The other extremely unlikely possibility would be catcher’s interference with the bases loaded.

Nixon managed to go opposite field and hit a double over Kevin Mench’s size 8 head in 6th inning. When hitting over Mench’s head, you need a control center in Houston to manage the trajectory. Ortiz had also reached on a double and scored to tie the game.

In the 8th, Ortiz again reached base again, this time on a bloop single to left field. Manny drove him in with a home run to take the lead. It wasn’t enough.

The rest of the game was designed to introduce the new Marvel supervillain “The Suck” to Red Sox fans. Engineered in a lab in Alabama and portrayed by Keith Foulke, this new antagonist will surely send chills up the spines of followers everywhere when seen warming in the bullpen.

Narrator: James Andrew, Physician/Scientist, searching for a way to tap into the hidden strengths that all humans have. Then an accidental overdose of gamma radiation interacts with his patient, Keith Foulke, and his unique body mechanics. And now, when Keith Foulke has to make a save with runners in scoring position, a startling metamorphasis occurs.
[While trying to close out a game with RISP, Foulke changes into “The Suck”: 16.03 ERA, 9 for 13 in save opportunities.]
Narrator: The creature is driven by rage and pursued by an investigative reporter.
Foulke: Mr. McAdams, don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
[McAdams witnesses yet another blown save.]
Narrator: An accidental implosion took the life of a fellow relief pitcher and the good Keith Foulke as well. The reporter thinks the creature was responsible.
McAdams: [droning voice-over] I gave a description to all the local media. They are going to fixate on his velocity, pitching mechanics, mental state, and/or a combination of the foregoing.
Narrator: Now Foulke must let the world go on thinking that he is dead, until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him.

Special thanks to Pine Tar Helmet for the phrase “The Suck,” which she is the not.


So do we start calling him David Foulke or do we go with the classic Bruce Foulke and who will be his Rick Jones? Can you tell I'm getting geared up for Comic-Con in a couple of weeks?

"Truculence"? Is this what you were feeling after the game? And/or a reference to Foulke saying he'll talk more if people give him a truck?

I see you've found my oh so lovely LJ...most of it is showing off the fangirl side of me...

Hope folks don't mind, but I deleted the duplicate posts; looks like TypePad is acting up.

I'm jealous of Johnny for living in San Diego and getting to run amuck at one of the largest annual gathering of geeks.

This post title works on so many levels, Earl. Did the Dixie Chicks write that song about you, by the way?

Piney, you couldn't hide for long. Thanks again for not sucking at life (unlike some bullpen pitchers we could name).

It's fine and okay yeah, I was having issues w/ my comment making section of the LJ so yeah...though "the suck" has been used pretty frequently too by other peoples, I just picked upon it.

Wow, I did not know about Goodbye Earl -- yikes. No, Earl (not my real name) is a reference to a silly movie I saw on tv during a recent trip to Mexico: http://imdb.com/title/tt0072822/

The tagline for this movie: We're gonna lick the world!

Need any more be said?

a) Why didn't anybody tell me Piney had a livejournal? This is vital information.

b) Since when does the word "Helmet" have an "n" in it? And how did I catch that but Piney didn't?

c) Marvel did actually make a character called "The Suck" in the mid-80s, but they pulled it quickly following a copywrite suit from DC for infringing on their character of "Aquaman".

d) Look for a young Laurence Fishburne in "Cornbread, Earl and Me".

e) I find writing in list form very convenient. It is much easier than forming a cohesive paragraph structure.

Responses to NU50:

a) I just told everyone. Or, the 6 people that read this blog.

b) I have to fix that typo.

c) Reminds me of a Dr. Katz episode where Aquaman gets therapy because he finds his powers useless.
Aquaman: "Hello, fishies!"
Fishes: [With gargling voice to make it seem like it's underwater.] "Hello, Aquaman!"
Aquaman: "Have you seen any trouble around here?"
Fishes: [Pause.]"Hello, Aquaman!"

d) There were no notable quotes from this movie on imdb.com. Does it actually exist? What is it about?

5) Don't you hate it when someone who is speaking in list format using letters suddenly changes to numbers?

Yeah NU, I have an LJ, I've had it for about four months now...surprised somebody finally picked up on it. :) Yeah It's just me shooting the shit and whatnot. My fangirly entries are friends locked anyway :) Just so I separate the fan in me and the CFB in me :)

iv) oh yes, it exists all right. The theme song is one of the best/worst of all time. It was the film debut of Larry/Lawrence/Laurence Fishburne, and even at age 13 it was clear he was a really good actor. That said, it was a nearly unwatchable movie. Somehow the reviewers at Amazon LOVED it. Maybe I should watch it sober sometime?


Scoop Jackson of ESPN claims that "Cornbread, Earl, and Me" (along with "The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars) is one of the greatest sports movies of all time.

In other news, Scoop Jackson has terrible taste in cinema.

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