Category Listing
Monthly Archive
Baseball Reference
Red Sox Links

Recent Posts
Recent Comments
Essential Empy

Home » April 2005 Game CommentsApril 2005 » Unwell


Game 20: April 25, 2005
Orioles (13-7), 8
Red Sox (11-9), 4
W: Bruce Chen (2-1)
H: Todd Williams (2)
L: David Wells (2-3)

Why can’t we get pitchers like this Chen guy? Whenever I hear his name, I think back to the May 20, 2003 game the Red Sox won against the Yankees. I got free tickets through a Yankee fan, the proviso being we had to be next to him during the game. (He’s not so bad, even though he cheers for pure evil. He truly did feel badly for Red Sox fans following Game 7 of 2003. He did not rub it in at all.) We were excited because we thought Pedro Martinez would be starting, but it turned out he had strained a new muscle. (“They are going to have to invent muscles for him to pull,” quoth the Yankee fan.) It wasn’t until around 4 PM that they announced Martinez was scratched, and I heard the news while waiting on Yawkey Way for my friends to arrive. Once word had spread that some guy named Bruce Chen was starting, scalpers looked as if they had sunk their life savings into a dotcom stock.

The Red Sox trailed until the 7th inning, when they came back with 5 runs to beat Jeff Weaver, who at that point wasn’t damaged goods. I remarked that Weaver was a fly ball pitcher and that Fenway and Yankee Stadium’s dimensions were far different from the vast Comerica Park. I also called a Bill Mueller double, who was then leading the league in two-baggers, if I recall correctly.

Thinking back to that game makes me feel better because Wells’s outing last night was fetid. He went 3.2 with 8 hits, 6 runs (all earned), 1 walk, 6 strikeouts, 1 home run, and an ERA roughly equivalent to his IQ, 4.91. Yes, I’m getting frustrated with him. Because Chen went 6 innings, 9 hits, 3 runs (all earned), 3 walks, 3 strikeouts, 1 home run, with an ERA of 3.62. Why can’t we get pitchers like Chen?

How about the injuries of Matt Mantei and Wells? The box score says it was 49 degrees, so perhaps adjusting to lower temperatures after playing in Florida was an issue. Still, they are professional athletes. Well, professional ballplayers, at any rate. Do they know how to properly stretch before a game?

Offensively, there were some bright spots and things to look forward to. Jason Varitek went 2 for 4 with a double and a home run. Johnny Damon worked counts, going 3 for 3 and had 2 walks as well. You can read about those in his upcoming book. Mueller finally returned and pinch hit for Ramon Vazquez, but struck out.

I feel compelled to mention that Michelle Damon’s segments in the pre-game show are pure unintentional comedic gold, not unlike her bleach job. (Scratch that; it was catty.) She visited the Museum of Fine Arts for the “Rockwell and the Red Sox” exhibition, and looked about as out of place as a Las Vegas showgirl in a nunnery. (Must see into getting myself declawed.) Not only that, she had her husband’s ring with her. File this under “whipped,” along with Doug Christie and Kris Benson. (Although I readily admit I’d probably ask to carry around the ring were I married to a World Champion Red Sox player. I’d put it on a chain and wear it around my neck, like in high school. ’Cuz we’d be going steady. So concludes my championship ring fantasy.)

The Michelle piece also made me think of Dorothy Parker’s riposte to the challenge to use “horticulture” in a sentence: “You may lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.” Dorothy and me, we would have had fun together.


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Unwell:

» What Hurts Us from BoSox Blotter
A blown save. A blown lead. A dub-par pitching performance. A Wells that's out for probably a month. Oh ya, and four losses in the last five games. I have to admit, early this season has seemed to provide some 'momentum' maintenance issues. For instanc... [Read More]


I really like Michelle Damon's hair. It's pretty hard to get hair to look like that and she's maintaining it consistently. I also like harajuku styles, facial piercings, and real cyborg implants when done well, so put me in the "Yay! applied science makes useful and pretty technology!" category more than "people with taste" category.

(Real cyborg implants are limited by current technology and ethics to decorative skull screws, insulin pumps, and things related to medical treatment, but I used to hang out a lot with people with functional, removable, cyborg gear.)

Interesting point, twitch. I was looking at MD more in terms of "baseball wife" than Yoyogi Park. In that case, she definitely can do Bratz style pastiche, but since she's representing NESN, she has to be more conservative. It's the jarring contrast between her hair and wardrobe that gets me, I suppose.

/Steven Cojocaru mode

Yeah, the contrast is pretty jarring. I was assuming NESN knew what it was getting when they hired her and decided to run with it as part of the whole "NESN Style Segment" experience.

It's not like the Red Sox players look real traditional in suits themselves. Even in the "World Champions meet the President" group photo.

NESN is the in-house cable channel for a not particularly traditional organization. I really like the style feel they're developing, sort of cable access with better production values. (it's a compliment) The freedom they have to be more informal than most cable channels, plus a pretty wacky set of home developed content, plus the ad revenue from showing the games paying all the bills leads to some pretty neat stuff.

I almost wish I had seen dear Mrs. Damon in an art exhibit. I feel that this would, perhaps, be an ultimate collision of two so widely mismatched worlds that an actual vacuum would form somewhere. Perhaps within the confines of her skull.

*sharpens claws*

I saved a copy as a quicktime movie and put it here.
That's all the good bits from the 4/25/2005 pregame show, so you'll need to fast forward through the American Hi-Fi interview to get to Michelle Damon at the MFA.

Also: applesauce!

Glad to see others think of the Michelle Damon segments as 2005's version of "My Mother The Car" or some other terribly misguided tv folly, (like a Brady Bunch reunion or something). I can't quite figure out how she weasled herself into this deal - horrifying images of her writhing on the casting couch with Tom Caron float on the interior of my forehead while I cringe and try and brush them away (*I just threw up in my mouth*).

I am also firmly committed to the idea that all of the Johnny vitriole of late and the idea of him being "overexposed" (I mean, let's face it, Kevin Millar is way more in front of our eyes daily than Johnny), is due to the fact that people are sick to death of seeing the Barbie-doll next to him. I think people want to love Johnny, he comes across as a nice, likeable guy - they just can't stand the thought that he's glommed onto (chosen) this horrifically fake woman (or vice-versa). A "sports wife" like that should really be invisible.

Anyway, I keep wondering: just how many takes do you think Michelle has to do to get ONE good one? I'd love to be a fly on the wall during these spots.

Also, I was pretty much liking Hazel Mae, until the Fenway premiere deal and she was bustiered up to the max, and THEN I GOT IT. So I'm feeling sort of ambivalent about NESN and how they are "providing programming for their female audience" .... uh, yeaahhh, Riiiiiiiiiight.

« Top « Home » Category ListingMonthly Archive


RSS Feed



  • Visitors to EE since November 2004
  • Boston Phoenix Best of ’06
    Phoenix Best
  • Blog contents, images, and design
    © 2004-2015 by Joanna J.M. Hicks.
    All Rights Reserved.
    Copyrights and trademarks for the books, films, articles, and other materials are held by their respective owners and their use is allowed under the fair use clause of the Copyright Law.