The Red Sox inked Brad Penny to a one-year, $5 million deal and also signed Josh Bard to a season’s worth of work for $1.6 million. In one day the Red Sox were able to sign two players whose given and family names are also words. (Yes, “brad” is a word.) Not only that: “Brad” is an anagram of “Bard.”
I’m about as excited about these signings as I was the watershed David Wells acquisition of 2005, but sadly Penny and Bard combined have neither Wells’s soundbite potential nor girth.
Penny’s intrigue does include having bedded Alyssa Milano, but if you’re an MLB player that is about as difficult as falling out of boat and getting wet.