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Entries from Empyreal Environs tagged with “Remy & Orsillo hijinks”

Vote Royals

John Farrell is not shy with his use of challenges. After just one out in the game he asked Tom Hallion’s crew to take a closer look at Mookie Betts’s play at first where the center fielder was called out. The out call was reversed but the Red Sox didn’t capitalize on the call as David Ortiz grounded into an inning-ending double play. But in the second inning the Red Sox offense came alive. Mike Napoli, Blake Swihart, and Betts all drove in runs to build a five-run lead. Eduardo Rodriguez used that cushion well by holding the Royals to a single run in six and one-third inning of work. But the Red Sox’s Rodriguez wasn’t the one who made baseball headlines. Instead it was New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez, who homered off Justin Verlander for his 3,000th hit. Zach Hample, the season ticket-holder who caught the milestone piece of memorabilia, said he was keeping it. Hample said he has returned the first home run balls of Mike Trout and Didi Gregorious but that “this is something more special.” If Trout continues the path he is blazing, perhaps Hample will regret giving up that particular ball. Even though Major League...

Hermann Monster

Rick Porcello recovered from his two recent wretched outings to turn in eight solid innings. His line of five hits, two earned runs, no walks, and five strikeouts would normally be enough for the win, but the Red Sox didn’t carry forward their offensive momentum from the day game into the second leg of the double header. The Twins got to Porcello in the second inning. Chris Hermann doubled off the Green Monster to plate Eddie Rosario. Hermann then scored on Danny Santana’s sacrifice fly. There wasn’t much to enjoy in this game from a Red Sox fan’s perspective, but this little tyke had some fun. The child is about two feet tall, representing the two hits the Red Sox tallied. Your browser does not support iframes. But even that kid wasn’t as happy as Don Orsillo was when he got a lamp from Jerry Remy. Your browser does not support iframes. Game 54: June 3, 2015 Minnesota Twins31-21 2 W: Trevor May (4-3)H: Blaine Boyer (11)S: Glen Perkins (20) 2B: Brian Dozier (17), Chris Hermann (2) Boston Red Sox24-30 0 L: Rick Porcello (4-5) 2B: Dustin Pedroia (9)...

Home On Our Range

The Texas Rangers wrapped up a series win against the Red Sox last night thanks to the local nine’s sputtering offense. Boston was 0-for-6 with runners in scoring position. Clay Buchholz’s competent outing went to waste. While a line of seven and one-third innings with five hits, two earned runs, two walks, and four strikeouts isn’t brilliant, it should be enough for a win if the Red Sox offense lived up to its potential. An example of how hard this team is pressing was Dustin Pedroia’s baserunning in the fourth. Pedroia tried to score on Hanley Ramirez’s comebacker to Wandy Rodriguez but was out at home. He was so out his slide was about five feet from home plate. Ramirez seemed to learn a little from Delino DeShields’s masterful fielding in left. He made a catch on Adam Rosales’s fly ball in the second that probably would have evaded him in April. Yes, you know how badly a game went when Ramirez’s fielding is a highlight. Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy tried to keep the mood light with their gigantic doppelgängers. But with a quarter of the season come and gone perhaps it’s time for other heads to roll. Game...

Rock Bottom

Jim Joyce, the first base umpire, concentrated on Mike Napoli’s feet rather than the ball in the glove as Adam Eaton charged down the first base line in the fifth inning. Stephen Drew’s throw pulled Napoli off the bag and Joyce called Eaton safe. The replay showed that the first baseman had the presence of mind to tag Eaton on the shoulder. John Farrell challenged Joyce’s ruling, which was overturned. Your browser does not support iframes. I can’t think of another time when Joyce missed a call at first. Can you? Wait, I have a vague recollection now that I think about it. Boston Gibbs, a six-year old boy from New York named after the Red Sox, got to visit Fenway as part of the Make-A-Wish Foundation. He and his family traveled to Boston by limousine. When asked how the ride and visit was he replied succinctly: “Good.” “Good” is not a word to describe the Red Sox current play. We aren’t so bad as to make an entire country cry (I’m looking your way, Brazil), but for Red Sox Nation this season is quite the comedown from 2013. Only Jackie Bradley, Jr. and A.J. Pierzynski tallied hits, both singles....

Toothless

The Red Sox were swept by the Cubs. Two days after the North Side Nines’ triumphant march through Fenway Jed Hoyer and Theo Epstein traded away Jeff Samardzija and Jason Hammel to the Oakland Athletics for a bevy of prospects: Addison Russell, Billy McKinney, pitcher Dan Straily, and a player to be named later. That doesn’t bode well for the Red Sox’s near-term future. Will Ben Cherington make any trades that send a fan favorite to another city? Surely David Ortiz wouldn’t be shipped out of Boston. In the third inning the designated hitter enjoyed his 1,000th extra base hit with a ground-rule double he clubbed to right field. Mookie Betts certainly wouldn’t be part of any trade rumors. The blue chip prospect notched his first hit in Fenway, a fifth-inning circuit clout that ended up in the Monster seats. The home run ball was retrieved by Chris Large, a Tennessee native that grew up a few miles from Betts was raised and who played against the rising Red Sox star in high school. Your browser does not support iframes. Betts didn’t get the silent treatment in the dugout. There’s been so little positivity in the Red Sox dugout that...

Wright Knuckles

R.A. Dickey and Tim Wakefield have had their rough spots. But above all they were given the chance to ride out their troubles on the mound. With rookie Steven Wright’s performance last night I wonder how many more opportunities he’ll be given. A team with championship aspirations may not have the patience to live through Wright’s growing pains nor a roster spot to a catcher that specializes in catching knuckleballs. The sheer number of runs scored was too excessive to be enjoyed, like gorging on one bite too many of fettuccine alfredo. Other things we saw too much of last night? Passed balls by Ryan Lavarnway. Strikeouts by Mike Napoli. Kitchens (human and mascot). Game 115: August 6, 2013 Boston Red Sox69-46 15 W: Brandon Workman (2-1)H: Drake Britton (1) 2B: Shane Victorino (17), Dustin Pedroia (27), Ryan Lavarnway (6)HR: Jacoby Ellsbury – 2 (7), Jonny Gomes (9) Houston Astros37-75 10 L: Jordan Lyles (4-6) 3B: L.J. Hoes (1)HR: Robbie Grossman (2), Brett Wallace (9), Jake Elmore (2)...

Gomeric Epic

Chase Headley called time late and Jon Lester, as is his wont, let the pitch fly. The ball hit Headley’s foot, causing the third baseman to limp about for a few minutes. Headley’s pain couldn’t have been that bad as he ended up singling off the left field wall. Then Headley advanced and Carlos Quentin scored on Kyle Blanks’s single, giving the visitors the early lead. Home plate umpire Doug Eddings warned both dugouts when Edinson Volquez hit Jose Iglesias with a pitch to start the third inning. Volquez and both teams’ managers were perplexed by the warning. Iglesias is the number nine hitter, the first batter in the inning, and the game is 1-0; all these factors point to this being an unintended plunking. Here is Don Orsillo reenacting Jerry Remy’s bewilderment. The Red Sox threatened to take the lead repeatedly. They had men on base in every frame except the fifth and seventh. They loaded the bases in the third. It took Jonny Gomes’s pinch-hit home run to break the 1-1 tie. While fans scrambled in the Monster seats scrambled to recover the souvenir Gomes rounded the bases to meet the roiling mob at home plate. There was...

Tattoo Drew

Stephen Drew busted the game wide open in the third inning with a grand slam to right-center. He had started off the inning with a base on balls that he didn’t realize he had; home plate umpire Sam Holbrook had to prompt him to take first. The Red Sox broke their three-game losing streak in grand fashion. Here’s hoping the Bruins start their series against the Rangers with a win. That would make this triple fan glad. Ryan Lavarnway had a day off after having to catch for John Lackey. While Jon Lester and Jarrod Saltalamacchia showed how simpatico they were in this game Lavarnway and Lackey had more pointless meetings than Path-E-Tech Management. Lavarnway’s favorite pies for dinner are shepherd’s or chicken pot while he favors cherry or banana cream pie for dessert. But the phrase “easy as pie” will soon turn into “easy as NESN’s Twitter question of the night as explained by Jenny to Jerry.” The Tampa Bay Rays are a mid-inning show featuring a dog performing Frisbee tricks away from having an minor league atmosphere. At least the Presidents Race at Nationals Park is educational and indicative of the locale. The Great Pierogi Race features a...

Beltre Buster

The general manager of Delaware North Company Sportservices said of the Beltre Buster, “We don’t count calories.” The article also stated that, “Club officials declined to provided nutritional information on the new offerings.” It is fitting that Adrian Beltre has a monstrous burger named after him. The eponymous dish features a pound of beef and eight ounces of bacon. Beltre boasted a 4-for-5 outing with a bases-clearing double in the fourth. I hope all his teammates touched his head. The course of Don Orsillo’s attempt to eat the burger mirrored the Red Sox players in this game. First there is initial delight in being presented with a novel challenge, the division-leading Rangers. Then attacking the task at hand with gusto. Until at last the inevitable surrender. Game 29: May 3, 2013 Boston Red Sox20-9 0 L: Felix Doubront (3-1) No extra base hits Texas Rangers18-11 7 W: Derek Holland (2-2) 2B: Jeff Baker (2), Adrian Beltre (6), Ian Kinsler (8)...

He’s a Business, Man

Robinson Cano jumped Scott Boras’s ship (or should I say luxury cruise liner) in favor of Jay-Z’s Roc Nation Sports venture, an agency partnered with CAA. Cano’s new agent has had more hits this season than Cano. Roc Nation also represents Shakira, so I expect to see Cano as a guest mentor on “The Voice” at some point. Jay-Z also manages Rihanna. Could he introduce her to Cano so she can leave Chris Brown already? Disappointingly, the Yankees have someone named after Jackie Robinson but the Red Sox do not. Jackie Bradley, Jr. is named after Jackie Wilson. Bradley had his first major league hit in the third inning, a grounder to center plating Shane Victorino. Bradley’s family braved the cold to cheer their son on. Like Cano, Junior has made the big time. He and Victorino went shopping in New York City and chilled with the Donald. Vernon Wells and Travis Hafner took TARDIS back to 2005: both of them homered in this game. It wasn’t enough to defeat the visitors. Hiroki Kuroda was knocked out of the game by our favorite Mauian after just an inning and a third. The Red Sox also chased replacement pitcher Cody Eppley...

Shipwrecked

For the visiting club the highlights of the game weren’t authored by the players on the field but by the team’s broadcast crew. Don Orsillo attempting to field a foul ball in the seventh had Jerry Remy in stitches. “You could have had that one!” The foul balls that honed in on the radio duo came in hot. Joe Castiglione and Dave O’Brien avoided the orb’s trajectory and let the wall behind them take the blow. They preferred the dry wall take the divot rather than their hands. Clay Buchholz pitched fairly well except for the fourth inning. The starter surrendered a string of singles and grazed a batter, an unfortunate series of events that allowed the tying and go-ahead runs to score. But then the defense failed. Eric Thames flied out to Jacoby Ellsbury with runners at first and third. Ellsbury airmailed the ball over the cutoff man and Ryan Lavarnway didn’t block the ball as it dribbled past him to the backstop. While other players appeared lackadaisical Buchholz made the best effort to stay with the play, diving at the ball before it wended its way to the dugout, but the third run of the inning scored. Miguel...

It’s In the Bag

The Red Sox scored a whopping 14 runs, hopefully not with the aid of banned substances. It would be tempting for the players to resort to artificial means given this season’s woes, but Don and Jerry would be the first to tell them that quick way isn’t the best way. It’s been so long since the Red Sox were on the giving end of a laugher that NESN audiences haven’t enjoyed Remy and Orsillo’s silly side. For every run Boston batters tallied there were at least five items in Don’s man bag. Contents include: Binoculars Emergency first aid kit Beef jerky Umbrella Pen bag: pens, eye black, backup contact lenses Medicine: pills for all ailments CSI flashlight Bag of candy Hairbrush Halls throat lozenges Baseball Umpire manual MLB rulebook Toiletries: hairspray, lotion Stain remover Fan mail Scorecards (used) Nasal spray Asthma medication Camera Chargers Phiten bracelet Bigelow green tea (Terry Francona’s favorite tea) But there’s something Orsillo should look into adding to his stash. Game 116: August 12, 2012 Boston Red Sox57-59 14 W: Jon Lester (6-10) 2B: Carl Crawford – 3 (8), Dustin Pedroia (23), Jacoby Ellsbury (13), Adrian Gonzalez (36), Mike Aviles (25)HR: Gonzalez (13) Cleveland Indians53-62 1 L: Corey Kluber...

Aaron’s Cookies

These fans’ bucket list went unfinished as the Red Sox dropped the last game of this series to the Tigers. Aaron Cook was hit hard by Detroit’s batters in the fifth, with sluggers Miguel Cabrera and Prince Fielder capping off the five-run onslaught with consecutive circuit clouts. Fielder demonstrated full recovery from getting hit with a pickoff in the fourth inning. He had writhed about as if mortally wounded but his dramatic gyrations were more soccer than serious. NESN is looking for a producer for a day in a rather interesting contest. The winner may score “any of the following unique NESN experiences: one inning in the NESN broadcast booth with Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy; one inning in the 3rd base photographer’s well with Jenny Dell; one inning with a NESN cameraman; one inning in the NESN broadcast truck; and other ballpark experiences as determined by NESN.” But can they pick songs with Peter Grenier? It was a disappointing end to an otherwise winning series, but at least Jacoby Ellsbury (1-for-4 with a double and a walk) and Carl Crawford (1-for-5 with a home run) are starting to show power at the top of the lineup. Ellsbury made a...

Red Hot Ross

This family misses Kevin Youkilis, and so will Robin Ventura. His third baseman tweaked his hamstring and will be sitting out of the series finale. Despite the earlier downpours Don Orsillo refreshed the park with his interpretation of the sprinkler dance. The English cricket team shows how it’s actually done in this clip. It wasn’t Cody Ross’s pair of three-run home runs that had Jerry Remy singing. The color analyst crooned “Help!”, no doubt a coded message to the audience to get him out of the ambit of Orsillo’s dangerous dance maneuvers. I miss the shenanigans in the booth in blowout games. We need more of these. Game 92: July 18, 2012 Chicago White Sox50-41 1 L: Pedro Hernandez (0-1) No extra base hits Boston Red Sox47-45 10 W: Felix Doubront (10-4) 2B: Jacoby Ellsbury (5), Cody Ross (16)HR: Ross – 2 (15), Adrian Gonzalez (8)...

Attrition

Two blasts by David Ortiz weren’t enough to salvage this rain-drenched series opener. The sky opened up with two out and Yunel Escobar on second in the seventh inning. Perhaps it was in mourning for Kevin Youkilis (spelled “Youklis” whoever wrote up the White Sox’s lineup card) or for the Red Sox, who had just fallen behind by two more runs thanks to Jose Bautista’s line drive two-run shot into the Monster seats. At least one person was happy. Make that two. Game 73: June 25, 2012 Toronto Blue Jays38-35 9 W: Henderson Alvarez (4-6)H: Jason Frasor (9)S: Casey Janssen (8) 2B: Edwin Encarnacion (14), Ben Francisco – 2 (4)HR: Colby Rasmus (14), J.P. Arencibia (10), Jose Bautista (24) Boston Red Sox38-35 6 L: Felix Doubront (8-4) 2B: Cody Ross (13), Will Middlebrooks (11)3B: Dustin Pedroia (2)HR: David Ortiz – 2 (20)...

Logan’s Runs

On August 25, 1987 Clay Buchholz’s worst nightmare, Justis Logan Morrison, was born in Kansas City, Missouri. The left fielder, slotted as designated hitter, went 3-5 with a two-run home run and two doubles. The slugger was knocking the ball over or off the wall, earning him the honor of going into the Monster and signing his name. What does Jerry Remy think of opposing players getting to sign Fenway’s hallowed walls? Remy does approve of kids’ first visits to the park announced by signs and encourages the practice by buying hot dogs for the families. He also approves of Mark Buehrle’s quick pace, although the game was slowed down by Clay Buchholz and the Marlins’ ability to nearly match the Red Sox run for run. Cody Ross healed up just in time to replace the injured Scott Podsednik and the carousel in the outfield paid immediate dividends. His one-out solo shot in the fourth increased the lead to 5-3. Between the lines Ross made a difference but also between batters. When Ryan Kalish flubbed a fly ball off the bat of Jose Reyes in the seventh Ross came over to console the youthful outfielder. The error didn’t result in...

Eye Black

A D.O. rocked the eye black today but it wasn’t Boston’s designated hitter. Play-by-play man Don Orsillo had Jerry Remy apply the glare-reducing makeup before the bottom of the fourth inning. It was just in time for David Ortiz’s go-ahead solo blast. “I saw all of it,” exclaimed Orsillo as the ball ricocheted about the visitors’ bullpen. It’s not the best home run call, but it’s far from the worst. The Red Sox pitchers had issues with home plate umpire Alan Porter. Alfredo Aceves felt he had struck out Roger Bernardina with two out and two on in the ninth and the strike zone plots show a number of pitches in the strike zone that should have been called strikes. Bernardina lined a double to right that scored Bryce Harper for the go-ahead run. Dustin Pedroia was the last Red Sox batter and he disputed Porter’s called strikes. Bobby Valentine backed up his second baseman from the dugout and was thrown out of the game. Valentine got into it with Porter a bit before heading for the clubhouse. No doubt he wanted to get an early start on how to respond to the media’s questions about why his team got...

Popping the Clutch

Two peculiarly NESN things made their debut on Sunday: Red Sox Small Talk and Dontourage. If Bobby Valentine is wondering why Kevin Youkilis isn’t emotionally and physically into the game it’s because he’s still recovering from being grilled by the Small Talk troop. I didn’t want to like this segment but who can resist wee moppets prying into Red Sox players’ personal lives? One tyke got Youkilis to admit that “The Humpty Dance” is his favorite song, and even more charmingly Youkilis wasn’t ashamed of his musical taste. Another cherub showed his left-handed swing and imitated the third baseman’s stance, but also in a southpaw fashion. Youkilis wouldn’t commit to a single answer about who the funniest player on the team was, but stated that David Ortiz, Nick Punto, and Dustin Pedroia were amongst the funniest. Punto will have time to hone his act with Pedroia entrenched at the keystone sack and Mike Aviles ripping it up in the leadoff spot. Ortiz is too busy carrying the team on his shoulders to work on his comedy routine. Carlos Pena couldn’t handle Ortiz’s line shot in the fourth and the designated hitter scored on Cody Ross’s double off the wall. In...

¡La Luna!

Enjoy these precious hours of calm before Daniel Bard’s first major league start. A decent showing by a starter, a scoreless bridge between the starter and the ninth by the set-up guy, and a perfect inning by the closer does not erase all the doubts about Red Sox pitching. Indeed, the Boston baseball club notched its first win because they were up against Sergio Santos, a closer who had blown a save in his previous outing against Cleveland. Santos allowed Dustin Pedroia to lead off the ninth with a double to the left-center gap, a hit that was remarkable because of how high Pedroia swung to get wood on the ball. Of Santos’s 33 pitches only 18 were strikes. Santos’s wildness made Alfredo Aceves look like Mariano Rivera. Pedroia advanced to third on what the official scorer charitably adjudged to be a passed ball and Adrian Gonzalez tied the game 2-2 with a sacrifice fly to left. David Ortiz and Cody Ross worked walks off Santos. Bobby Valentine pinch ran Darnell McDonald for Ortiz, a move I thought Valentine would regret if his team didn’t get the lead. Ryan Sweeney knocked a single to Jose Bautista and the pinch runner...

Can’t You Read the Signs?

Don Orsillo has worn seven different grey ties with stripes: April 24, May 29 doubleheader, June 10, June 17, August 9, September 1, and yesterday’s nifty nickel, pewter, and pearl piece. With yesterday’s loss the team’s record is 5-3 with such ties. It was difficult to say which was worse, John Lackey’s pitching or the endless stream of sycophantic signs. The winning sign wasn’t terribly bootlicking although it was busy. The only inside joke missing was the praying mantis. Fittingly it was Connecticut Day at Fenway Park. The state insect of Connecticut is the European or praying mantis, according to the state’s official website. Gawker’s recent ranking of the 50 state had the Nutmeg State at number 31. The description of Connecticut can be applied to the series finale: Connecticut is mostly just America’s suburb, a string of medium-sized towns rolling into medium-sized towns, only to be briefly interrupted by decaying heaps like Bridgeport, New Haven, and Hartford. Connecticut has some of the least character or local flavor in the country, unless you count the WASPs of Westport, and we really shouldn’t count them. Game 139: September 4, 2011 Texas Rangers80-61 11 W: Matt Harrison (11-9)2B: Endy Chavez (11)3B: David...


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