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Entries from Empyreal Environs tagged with “Kalish (Ryan)”

Crying About Ryan

Part of Ryan Kalish’s $483,000 salary had better go into the kangaroo court pot for his two gaffes in the ninth inning. The outfielder tried to steal third with two out, Daniel Nava at the dish, and the score 2-1. In the bottom of the frame he failed to glove Brandon Moss’s single up the middle. Cliff Pennington advanced to third and Moss reached second on the error. Coco Crisp lifted the ball to center to plate Pennington for the winning run. In the first inning Crisp gave his team an early lead with a solo shot. Now every ex-Red Sox player on the Athletics have hit home runs off their former team. But the blame is not on Kalish alone. Nick Punto should also be called out for popping out on his bunt attempt in the ninth resulting in a double play. The Red Sox hitters were 0-for-8 with runners in scoring position. At least we got to enjoy Don and Jerry’s dancing (their description, not mine) and the life-sized sign of the pair. Game 81: July 3, 2012 Boston Red Sox42-39 2 H: Vicente Padilla (18)BS, L: Alfredo Aceves (4, 0-6) HR: Jarrod Saltalamacchia (16) Oakland Athletics40-42 3...

Logan’s Runs

On August 25, 1987 Clay Buchholz’s worst nightmare, Justis Logan Morrison, was born in Kansas City, Missouri. The left fielder, slotted as designated hitter, went 3-5 with a two-run home run and two doubles. The slugger was knocking the ball over or off the wall, earning him the honor of going into the Monster and signing his name. What does Jerry Remy think of opposing players getting to sign Fenway’s hallowed walls? Remy does approve of kids’ first visits to the park announced by signs and encourages the practice by buying hot dogs for the families. He also approves of Mark Buehrle’s quick pace, although the game was slowed down by Clay Buchholz and the Marlins’ ability to nearly match the Red Sox run for run. Cody Ross healed up just in time to replace the injured Scott Podsednik and the carousel in the outfield paid immediate dividends. His one-out solo shot in the fourth increased the lead to 5-3. Between the lines Ross made a difference but also between batters. When Ryan Kalish flubbed a fly ball off the bat of Jose Reyes in the seventh Ross came over to console the youthful outfielder. The error didn’t result in...

There’s No Place Like Home

The Yankees were denied the American League East championship with their 8-4 loss before the Rays’ comeback victory against the Royals. They won’t have home field throughout the playoffs and will face the Minnesota Twins in the American League Divisional Series. Yankee Stadium is second in the league for runs scored park factor 1.182 compared to Target Field’s 0.970. Southpaws won’t have the short porch to pad their home run statistics; in fact, Homophobia Field’s (Target donated $150,000 to Minnesota Forward, a political action committee that supports anti-gay marriage Republican gubernatorial candidate Tom Emmer) home run park factor of 0.638 is last in the league while Nouveau Stade Fasciste is third with 1.440. I should be careful about how vociferously I broadcast my hopes for a quick exit by the Yankees. I might find myself stabbed in the neck like Monte Friere, a Red Sox fan from Nashua, New Hampshire who was attacked by John Mayor, a Yankee fan from New Haven. While Mayor is sitting in the clink waiting for someone to bail him out for $500,000, he should unwind with some quality television programming. On Tuesday evening at 8 PM ESPN will present the next installment of the...

Rest in Pieces

The Yankees guaranteeing themselves a playoff spot this season was inevitable but, like your parents having sex, it’s something that happens but you don’t need to see or hear it. Just please keep it down. Will you guys wait until you get into your bedroom? Appreciate it. Juan Miranda’s tenth-inning bases loaded walk teased from Hideki Okajima was like amateur porn compared to the Red Sox winning the American League East on September 28, 2007. That night was like Amélie (from the movie, not the Boston Globe) imagining climaxes across the arrondissements of Paris; pockets of Red Sox fans in Baltimore and Boston and beyond were simultaneously experiencing exhilaration. A scintilla of that exaltation shimmered briefly in the top of the ninth. Ryan Kalish swiped second and third as Bill Hall battled Mariano Rivera. Hall prevailed by shooting a single up the middle to plate Kalish for the tying run. Inspired by Kalish’s larceny Hall also stole second and third, putting him in position to tag up on pinch hitter Mike Lowell’s sacrifice fly to center for the go-ahead score. Jonathan Papelbon, who had partnered with Daisuke Matsuzaka three years ago to clinch the division, did not replicate his one-two-three...

You Can’t Sweep Us Twice In a Season

When the chips aren’t down, when it doesn’t matter, when the season isn’t on the line, John Lackey will come up big: 7 innings pitched, 5 hits, 1 earned run, no walks, 4 strikeouts. Ryan Kalish’s broken bat single to lead off the fourth triggered a go-ahead rally. The shards flew into the stands but they didn’t seem to hurt anyone seriously. With Cubs rookie Tyler Colvin’s chest getting speared by pieces of a maple bat the serious safety issue is again in the spotlight. The data show that the rate of broken maple bats is down 50 per cent since 2008, but Bud Selig acknowledges that the league needs to do more. David Ortiz homered into the Red Sox bullpen, a sight more entertaining than Jerry Remy in a tutu. There were more people stuffed into the NESN booth publicizing the Nutcracker than there are players on the disabled list. In 2009 both of Josh Reddick’s four-baggers came against Baltimore and he hit his first home run of this season off an Oriole. His fifth inning solo shot landed about eight rows deep near the curve in right. Perhaps to shore up ratings NESN has livened up the broadcast...

Decrying Ryan

It’s easy to be sighing about Ryan Kalish. Him boneheadedly getting picked off first base immediately preceded Victor Martinez’s triple off the left field wall. Had Kalish been on base he would have scored the tying run. The seeds of this loss were planted much earlier in the game, however. Adrian Beltre ill-advisedly fired across the diamond after fielding John McDonald’s grounder. The throwing error allowed Adam Lind to score and McDonald to reach second. Then Josh Beckett and any other Red Sox infielder failed to cover home plate on Jose Molina’s bunt down the first base line. Catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia abandoned home plate to field the ball and the defense didn’t rotate behind him. While the infielders were pinned to their bases and Beckett stood idly by McDonald scored from second. The Red Sox were 2-for-9 with runners in scoring position. Key outs in scoring opportunities included Marco Scutaro’s strikeout with the bases loaded in the second, Saltalamacchia’s rally-killing pop out with two runners on in the sixth, and David Ortiz’s whiff with two runners on in the seventh. Martinez buffed up his positional resume by turning two nifty plays in the fourth. With the bases loaded he deftly...

Noob Tube

All the runs batted in for the Red Sox were tallied by players who weren’t on the opening day roster. Daniel Nava and Lars Anderson propelled RBI doubles in the second inning, sandwiching Josh Reddick, who grounded out to short and drove in run. Ryan Kalish, perhaps Boston’s most impressive rookie, powered a two-run homer into the right field stands. No mean feat as Safeco Field is second only to Target Field in home run-depressing tendencies. Jon Lester, not be outdone by the newcomers, spun a fabulous eight innings of three-hit ball. The starter fell just one short of his season-high mark of 13 strikeouts, which Lester earned against these selfsame Mariners in Seattle. Something about playing in his home state’s Northwestern air brings out the best in Lester. Then again, he was pitching against the languid Mariners, who Dennis Eckersley appropriately labeled “lambs.” You still wake up sometimes, don’t you? You wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the lambs.Game 144: September 13, 2010Red Sox 80-645W: Jon Lester (17-8)2B: Jed Lowrie (10), Daniel Nava (11), Lars Anderson (1), David Ortiz (33) HR: Ryan Kalish (4)Mariners 55-891L: Doug Fister (5-12)No extra base hits....

Bradenia is Now Beckettburg

King Dallas I of Bradenia was dethroned by upstart Josh Beckett the Usurper. While the ouster was hardly impressive (6 innings pitched, 3 earned runs, 5 walks, and 7 strikeouts) it prevented the Red Sox from being swept by a team whose record hovers around .500. Aiding Beckett in the expropriation was J.D. Drew and Ryan Kalish with two runs batted in apiece. Drew’s sixth inning double brought the encroachers within a run. Not only did Drew’s extra base hit help spark the rebellion but also made up for him getting thrown out at first to end the fourth inning when he casually back-peddled to the bag after making a banana turn. Fireballer Henry Rodriguez couldn’t blow away Kalish, who pinch hit for Bill Hall and lofted the ball deep enough to left so that Mike Lowell could score from third. Drew charged around the bases with a purpose and scored the go-ahead head run on Kalish’s single. Home plate Hunter Wendelstedt ejected Daric Barton, after calling the Oakland first baseman out on strikes for the final out of the game. The gesture was as useless as the appendix, a vestigial organ that can only uselessly inhabit the gut or...

Welcome to Oaksterdam

The Red Sox seemed to take advantage of the readily available medical cannabis in Oakland, scattering a mere three hits against Trevor Cahill. The visiting bats were so listless even Craig Breslow didn’t allow a hit. From the second Coco Crisp robbed counterpart Ryan Kalish of a home run to start the game the momentum was entirely in Oakland’s favor. The marquee match-up of Clay Buchholz against Cahill, starters who were respectively first and third in ERA going into the game, turned out to be a one-sided affair. Buchholz officially pitched one inning but saw four batters in the second inning, yielding a line of 5 hits, 5 earned runs, 4 balls, and 1 strikeout. Even though Cahill shutout the Red Sox to the tune of 7 innings pitched, 3 hits, 2 walks, and 4 whiffs, he remains third in earned run average after Felix Hernandez and Buchholz. The Coliseum is just 11 minutes away from Oaksterdam University. Founded in 2007, the Oakland branch features “large 100 person classroom, full horticulture lab, and a large administrative staff to attend to students.” Oddly, the Student Union across the street doesn’t serve food. Players traveling with the team but not playing could...

Not-So Phantom Power

I thought the band name “Phantom Power” might refer to Jacoby Ellsbury but it’s actually an audio engineering concept that is beyond my humble ken. This article by Eddie Ciletti explains phantom power for those who are curious. There’s a “high energy contradance band” based on Boston called Phantom Power founded by Lissa Schneckenburger and Bruce Rosen, but this isn’t NESN’s house band. Another candidate is the indie band on MySpace that goes by the same name that counts Seo Taiji, David Bowie, and Green Day amongst their influences. It was founded in Vancouver, British Columbia and has a male lead singer so it is out of the running. I did find clips of Megan’s band on Tom Guilmette’s page, so click through and enjoy. The reason we got to hear about the band was that Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy had to fill the airwaves with chatter because of blowout in the home team’s favor, something that hasn’t happened in all too long a time. What I thought might be the storyline of the evening, the major league debuts of Lars Anderson and Robert Coello, turned out to be a disappointing footnote. Anderson went 0-for-4 with two strikeouts and...

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Stupidity

It’s not that our team doesn’t have smarts, it’s just that our team’s smarts are inconsistently used. Mike Lowell is widely regarded as particularly wily, so he knew that keeping Carlos Pena pegged at first with the bottom of the order coming wasn’t a priority. But Clay Buchholz is the poster child for nervous throws over to first. His pickoffs are like Nomar’s pre-batting tics or Wade’s chicken dinners, except since they happen in-game they may cause mayhem. Pena didn’t even have a lead and Buchholz tossed over to first. Lowell is wise the the ways of the game but at this point is so inert he has to flip to pitchers on many ground outs to his position. One game he is going to be at first and Wakes is going to be pitching and neither will make it to first in time to stop a Molina from getting an infield single. So Mikey couldn’t get to Clay’s errant throw and it gamboled through foul territory to the Rays bullpen. Carlos galloped all the way from first to third while J.D. and Mikey pawed through the equipment, chairs, and relievers that littered the area. (Later Amalie Benjamin tweeted that...

Southpaw Savior

Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy, as delicate as Jacoby Ellsbury’s ribs, are the only broadcasters who close their booth windows during games in Rangers Ballpark. But their flimsy exteriors hide the hearts of hardened criminals. The NESN duo stole a car last night. “A lot of rental cars look the same,” blurted Remy under interrogation. His plea of ignorance rang false in light of his and Orsillo’s jocular boasting about their abhorrent deed. Not only did participate in grand theft but committed the thievery against fellow broadcasters Joe Castiglione and Dave O’Brien. “At no point did we think about going back,” sneered Orsillo. In the end, nothing came of Remy and Orsillo’s hijinks, just as Bill Hall’s and David Murphy’s stolen bases didn’t impact the game. The first run in the fifth inning was scored by Ryan Kalish, who starched a single to right. The Red Sox rookie advanced to second on a passed ball to Marco Scutaro and then to third on Scutaro’s single to Michael Young. The Rangers third baseman did well to knock down the hit and save the run but the reprieve was short-lived. J.D. Drew lobbed a single to shallow right to plate Kalish. Jon...

True Grit in Series Split

As much as I enjoy Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy (they are the best broadcast booth in the American League and all) listening to Joe Castiglione and Dave O’Brien can be more evocative and informative. Had the Red Sox not had an afternoon game I probably wouldn’t have learned how Ryan Kalish’s parents are ardent Red Sox fans: father Steve is from Brookline and mother Eileen hails from Dorchester. Kalish tallied his first major league steal in the second inning after scooting a seeing-eye single between first and second. After swiping second he advanced to third on Jorge Posada’s poor throw to the keystone sack. Kalish scored on Bill Hall’s infield single to short, about which Castiglione murmured about Alex Rodriguez’s and Derek Jeter’s diminished ranges. The Red Sox went on to load the bases in the second but the Yankees escaped with just one more run scored against them. Castiglione mentioned how he and O’Brien shared a taxi with Mike Lowell to the game today. They noted that he is an honest evaluator of players, including himself, and believe that he could make a career in the front office someday. He couldn’t write a glowing report on his 0-for-4...

Yankee Doodle Do or Die

With two down and the count 3-2 in the first inning David Ortiz tried to bombard Monument Cave with his home run ball, his 21st of the season. In Nouveau Stade Fasciste the open-air museum is protected from onslaught by netting, so circuit clouts no longer bounce impertinently amongst the marble slabs. The Yankees answered back in the bottom frame of the first with a two-run shot off the bat of Mark Teixeira. The first baseman took advantage of one of the few poor pitches hurled by Clay Buchholz, who notched his 12th victory with his 7⅓ innings, 9 hits, 3 earned runs, and 4 strikeout outing. He can celebrate his win along with the birth of his first child, a daughter he and his wife Lindsay named Colbi, born a mere two days ago. The visitors took back the lead second. Javier Vazquez, who never looks comfortable against the Red Sox, failed to peel off on Mark Lowell’s infield pop-up to Francisco Cervelli. Vazquez’s battery partner dropped the ball, allowing Lowell to reach first safely and Adrian Beltre to take third. It seemed like Vazquez was trying too hard to make the play himself, as if he had something...

A Coke and a Smile

The Red Sox got the leadoff hitter on base seven out of nine innings but grounded into three double plays. The home team also ran into a couple of outs, one ill-advised and another unlucky. In the seventh inning with Adrian Beltre on first, none out, and the score 4-0 in favor of the Tigers, Bill Hall tried to stretch a single to left into a double and was hosed at second. In the bottom frame of the next inning Victor Martinez knocked a long single off the left field wall. Beltre followed him with a bloop to shallow right that looked catchable enough that Martinez couldn’t commit to taking second. The ball dropped just out of reach of Brennan Boesch’s glove and the catcher was erased from the basepaths. Despite Hall’s gaffe his team halved the deficit in the seventh thanks to Ryan Kalish’s first major league run batted in. In the same play he knocked over his first major league umpire when his shattered bat hit Dan Iassogna. He scored his first major league run on Darnell McDonald’s double in the seventh. In his premier major league at bat in the third Kalish led off with a single...


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